I’ve had so many thoughts swirling through my head recently. My custody case. Financial worries. Getting, and looking, older. My newly, self-cut bangs.

Vanity is pervasive.

Of all of the above woes, there’s only one that truly matters. My time with my kids.

I’m dealing with someone who I used to love, who is actively trying to eradicate me from existence. His desire is to erase me… he would delete me if he could… but I’m still here.

I’m doing my best to communicate and compromise, but how does one approach an individual who is dead set on being unreasonable? Someone who is so focused on their goal, that they are willing to hurt their own children?

There was a reason that we never got legally married. Because we knew in our heart of hearts, that one day we would “divorce.” We didn’t want to repeat the turmoil of our parents. All bills were split 50/50. There was no community property. We lived together, but kept our lives relatively separate. We were always protecting ourselves.

The quintessential self-fulfilling prophecy.

When you’re in the muck, you don’t notice how dirty you are. Our vision was muddied. We just kept plugging along until we couldn’t any longer. Until things got so bad that there was no choice but to separate.

“I’m doing you a favor.” That’s what I told him when things ended. He didn’t understand then, and he doesn’t understand now. I have to accept that he likely never will.

So what’s important?

A willingness to foster and facilitate peace, even when efforts appear futile. Because the possibility of peace is always worth working towards. More often than not, the battle is won through surrender. The opposing side doesn’t have to understand or accept this strategy; the battle is simply over.

This notion can be applied to all currently perceived troubles. Bangs grow back. Age is inevitable, but I can remain young at heart. I can stay in shape and still look and feel beautiful. God has always provided for me in the past - so why wouldn’t He now and forever?

There’s not much, if anything, that is actually worth fretting over. Worry is thief. Give it to the One who can produce change. Ask for it… and move on to do your part.

“Resistance is futile.”

I think Mr. Spock said that. He was right. Life is unavoidable, but struggle is a choice.