I know this is a lie I’m telling myself… but things seemed easier when I could take a pill to sleep, and a pill to wake up.

It’s odd to never naturally feel tired. You pop an orange pill and go, go, go and when it’s time to “rest” you pop a blue one and it’s lights out.

You’re groggy in the morning from the blue one, so you gotta take another orange one. Obviously.

I’m thankful to know it’s not true: it’s not an easier life. It used to feel like coasting - guaranteed sleep/wakefulness completely on demand - but it’s flying by the seat of your pants then knocking yourself out. It’s a recipe for a heart attack, seizure or stroke. Maybe all three.

It’s sick.

I was sick.

I’ll always be sick.

I can’t forget that. Because it’s easy to get a script. Even easier to pop into a liquor store.

Not today, Satan.

I can accept being tired. Kids grind their teeth. Crows get busy at dawn. That’s life. And I’m thankful to live it, one day at a time.