It takes a tough man to worry about his shoes after getting shot at.

The Republican party has always been on the wrong side of social politics

I mean, in 1865 they were pretty OK.

Stories like this make me somewhat hopeful. If the MAGA crowd were sure they were going to win, they wouldn’t be laying the groundwork for bullshit like this again.

… subject to adjudication by the totally impartial and unbiased SCOTUS.

I’m a school bus driver and we’re Teamsters; most of my co-workers are rabidly pro-union and just as rabidly pro-Trump. A few are even lesbians and pro-Trump. It just doesn’t make any sense, except for the fact that they’re so racist they even hate Chinese food.

BTW our union is why we make $30 an hour plus benefits like health insurance and a pension instead of the $18 an hour with no benefits that the drivers in neighboring districts who work for private bus companies make.

I can’t believe they expect Big Government to solve the problem of children hopelessly dying in the arms of their screaming mothers. They should let private enterprise take care of that.

Fun fact: every battleship built by the United States has been named after a state except one, USS Kearsarge, which was named that in honor of the Kearsarge which sank the Confederate raider Alabama during the Civil War (the US Navy since then has always had a ship in commission with that name, as presumably a giant fuck you to the South). In order to restore the beautiful consistency of having every battleship named after a state, I think we should allow any of the territories you listed above to become the 51st state - so long as they change their name to “Kearsarge” first.

We will take over the horribly run capital of our nation in Washington, D.C., and clean it up, renovate it, and rebuild our capital city, so that it is no longer a nightmare of murder and crime.

Uhhh why you no do that during your first term? It’s not like DC has suddenly become shitty in the last four years.

Don’t forget about being able to build overpasses too low for buses to fit.

I do like the thought of Moses rolling in his grave over the fact that they eventually started building lower buses.

Why the kitana was a super-sword.

Kinda random, but: the first device capable of measuring the size of an object to a one millionth of an inch resolution was built in the 1840s. So this would have been old technology when Abe got his fax.

Don’t worry, they will figure out that without humans releasing gasses they have no purpose, so they will cull most of the human population but keep just enough to justify their existence to manage it.

Unfortunately this statement also applies to the 1%. And the “just enough” will get smaller and smaller as AI and automation replace humans.

take material action to rein in the increasingly lawless and openly right-wing Supreme Court

Nooooooo! Then the right-wing media would paint them as partisan! Instead of what they’re doing now, which is … painting them as partisan.

the right has chosen to run a smear campaign on her

And they run smear campaigns on EVERYONE with a D in front of their name, regardless of how far to the left they actually are. Democrats are playing a losing game by worrying about how the Republican media are going to portray them.

the barrier for getting Linux to work is too high right now for a very large part of the population

My elderly (late 80s) parents have Windows on their laptops and it would be impossible for them to use it without my regular intervention. I might as well take the plunge and set them up with Linux.

So cynical … what makes you think “a startup aiming to broker paid licensing deals between publishers and AI companies” can’t be trusted implicitly?

nor his manservant, nor his maidservant

“Slaves” in the original, but of course we can’t allow any hint of three thousand year old shit not being strictly relevant any more.

If George Lucas had directed Spinal Tap, he would have already gone back and made Stonehenge orange.

No … Wingdings.

“There’s the fake abs, then Donald … jiggly Donald, and then … abs.”