I’m going on my first overseas trip with my girlfriend since we started dating. I worked hard all last year to earn and save money for this trip. It will be our first international trip ever, and I want to make it perfect, memorable, and the best trip of our lives.
I’ve read countless articles online to ensure everything is perfect. It felt overwhelming to the point that my head started to hurt. Fortunately, I found an article that provided a detailed guideline, and it seemed like the perfect guide. My girlfriend and I have been following it, and it has been very helpful so far.
However, I decided to come to this community to seek additional guidance, advice, and tips from you all, just in case the article missed something important. My girlfriend and I would greatly appreciate any travel tips, advice, and guidance you have, as this is our first trip abroad together.
In my experience, trying to ensure everything is perfect and micro planning every moment will result in the opposite. Be flexible.
Exactly what I wanted to say. All that talk of “perfection” makes me imagine them snapping and going full psycho because a train was cancelled and they need to book a different one.
To OP: just stop trying to plan that much. A general plan is good. Just be aware things will change and that’s ok. As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
If you want a little psychological trick to make the trip more memorable than it otherwise would be, whatever you think is going to be the most impressive, save it for last. Our memories have a very strong recency bias.
We both are perfectionists, but after reading the advice from everyone here, we are trying to be more flexible. Your advice is concise, but very helpful. Thank you very much.
This is a bit dependant on the people. The real trick is communicating and being on the same page, like everything in a relationship.
Others have said it, but I’ll stress it some more. Don’t overplan. Whenever I go somewhere I make a list of all the places I wanna go to and I only schedule one place/day. Two at most if they’re small things. But don’t plan a museum in the morning and then a second place/museum in the afternoon, for example. You’ll never make it to the second place. Or you will but you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.
1-2 places/day are enough. Trying to cram too much stuff into a day will ruin your trip, really.
In the army they say: “No plan survives first contact with the enemy” I believe, right? I think the same counts for trips abroad. You’ll probably get sick in the first days because of all the built up stress preparing for the trip finally releasing, you will forget something “important” when leaving the airplane, the museum you really wanted to see might be closed that week because of renovations, etc.
What I remember most from my trips are those cafes you stumble upon that afternoon you did not plan anything, that sunset on the edge of the river while walking back to the place you’re staying and the best souvenir is that painting you bought from that friendly guy at that market you came across. So, try to take it slow.
More practical tips: try to follow the local schedule. For instance, in Spain don’t try to eat dinner before 21:00 and in France don’t try to go shopping during lunchtime.
Also, take some emergency food for when you cannot find a nice place to eat that still has a spot for two but you are getting really hangry. A bar of some sorts for instance.
And take pictures, but don’t experience everything through your lense. Also, imagine what you would actually like to view when back home. I only take pictures with people on them and not in any tourist hotspots; I can find enough pictures of those online already.
Enjoy!
That reminds me. My favorite memory of my last trip was missing the last train and walking 25 minutes at midnight crossing bridges and walking by a river while we experience the nice cool air and melancholy streets of Japan. Definitely a vibe.
Yep. Agreed. Unplanned bits are often very memorable. Took shelter in a random café in Vienna and had amazing cakes. My favourite memory from that trip, I think.
Have a broad plan, but don’t fuss about sticking to it too much.
Except the pictures bit. There I disagree.I like taking pictures of touristy stuff and such. Because It’ll help me remember the way I experienced the place. And pictures of stuff in museums because it’ll help me remember what I enjoyed most. I don’t wanna have to look up a list of all the expositions later on in order to find something I wanna review or share with someone.
Pro tip: trips aren’t perfect. It’s life, nothing will be perfect. BUT learn to roll with things and don’t take it super hard of something goes awry. Some of my best memories and stories are from agonizing parts of trips.
Also, don’t plan out all you time there, leave some free time open to list about. You’ll be there with your SO, you intend to spend quality time with them, it’s great to have open time to go do something that catches either of your attentions rather than dismiss it due to “vacation appointments” like a tourist spot you planned.
Take pictures or memorabilia of whatever suits you, I have pictures of cool mirrors in hotels, or a wonky bathtub. Again don’t dwell too much on making it perfect, the perfect spot, the perfect picture etc. I have a hilarious picture of an SO with a guy running across the shot, I got him in multiple frames. Still some of my favorites from the trip.
Grab some local currency before you arrive so it’s on hand, know what ATMs can allow you to pull money from for free (Bank of america has a bunch of partners all over Europe) and Don’t let the TSA disappear it from your bag.
I really love that pro-tip that you have mentioned. I was too naive to make it perfect, but your tip has changed my perspective on this. Thank you very much for this pro tip.
Absolutely! Glad I could help, enjoy your time together!
If you are going to a non-english speaking country, do not expect anybody to speak english. Learn some basic phrases on the local language.
If you need any medical assistance, do not hessitate and go to a hospital. Even better if you have some travel insurance.
Do not propose. Thank me later.
do not expect anybody to speak english
Can I add: also don’t expect that your body language and gestures are going to be the same. Had to learn this the hard way
Tourists in Bulgaria, for example, always get caught out by this. They shake their head for yes and nod for no.
How did you learn this lesson? Was it Bulgaria like the other commenter said?
No it was Japan. (I’m from Germany.)
I was 17 and it was before smartphones and I somehow imagined people in Tokyo and Kyoto would know English but they didn’t. And then I tried to explain what I wanted or where I wanted to go with gestures and they tried to explain back with gestures but it was a catastrophe. None of us understood each other.
I am so sorry because at some point a cook in a soba restaurant kept asking me “Soba?” and I didn’t know what soba was and it was day 10 out of 14 and I was at my nerve’s end so I yelled back in German “I don’t know what you want I don’t know what your soba is just give me that soup that I am pointing at!”
It’s been 15 years and this still keeps me up at night 😭 I’'m so sorry soba guy. Yelling at you legit is in the top 5 things I would do differently if I could relive my life.
(I was also still processing my first break up and it was hot af and my boobs had grown humongous which earned me a lot of stares abroad and all of this added to me feeling lost and frustrated.)
A friend of mine told me about how each person has a bowl into which go all the things that upset them. Some people have small bowls, others have large bowls. When the bowl is full and more things go wrong for that person, the bowl tips.
Your bowl tipped that day.
Corollary: do not assume anybody doesnt speak English.
Specifically, expect no-one to speak English when you need help but everyone to understand English when you’re complaining about something to do with the country you’re in.
-
Buy good walking shoes, not just basic sneakers. That pair of chucks or vans may look cool, but they are terrible for standing and walking for long periods. Your feet will thank you later.
-
Download offline maps so you can find your way if you lose data/reception.
-
If your travel is focused on going around and not staying put at your accommodation (i.e. resort), don’t bother with getting super expensive hotels. What’s important is that it’s clean and safe. You can use the money saved for when you’re actually going around.
-
Save scans of your passports and other important documents on your phone or somewhere online, in case it gets lost or stolen.
-
Bring a pen. You’ll need to fill out forms as you enter and exit ports. It’s a hassle having to borrow a pen from other travelers.
-
Bring a small pouch bag for you phone, wallet, keys, and passport. That way you can securely carry it with you wherever you go without dragging around your luggage. Edit: Here’s a prime example of why a small bag you can wear on your body is helpful. Happened just a few days ago: https://youtu.be/xEUtmS61Obw
If possible pay to have international service in that country with internet data, I did it when I visited Japan last year and the extra 30 bucks were worth it for the couple weeks I spent there. I had Hotspot available to me as well and I used it to ensure my traveling companions also had access to data. I actually looked into getting a mobile Hotspot rented but just paying for international was a better deal for me.
Plus one for the offline maps. You never know if you’re going by an area with poor reception.
If it’s a country where you don’t speak the language check out the translating apps. Google does a great job and I also used DeepL to great effect.
Not just the shoes, but socks as well. Double layer like Wrightsocks complete the blister proofing.
-
Others have already said to let go about everything being perfect, because there will be things outside of your control that you cannot account for, so I won’t harp on about that.
Instead, I recommend a little pre-trip prep at home to make the end of your trip a dream as well. Take some time to clean the house/apartment, do the dishes and laundry, make the bed.
There is nothing like coming home after a long trip, but coming home to a mess or chores after a (hopefully) amazing time is a terrible way to cap off your vacation, so do yourselves a favor and spend a couple hours on making home perfect before you leave.
OMG! The article that I am following has mentioned these tips that you have mentioned. Are you the one who wrote this article?
Wish I could claim credit, but in the immortal words of Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.”
This is just something my mom drilled into us when I was younger, and I still do it to this day
Call your bank and credit cards you have and let them know you will be leaving the country. This will hopefully stop them from putting holds on your account that prevents you from spending.
Be more concerned about enjoying your girlfriend than enjoying the place.
Can you elaborate, please?
Think about ways to enjoy doing things with her, either things she specifically enjoys that you can share in her joy or things that you two do together apart from crowds, like meals and spending time together.
The important thing about the trip is not to see more places or take more pics, it’s to spend time with her, it is better to leave without visiting that town that is surely not that good at the end, and spend an afternoon just chatting with her in a nice place.I think that makes better memories than being stressed all day because of a tight schedule.
Do fewer things better. Don’t try to cram a million things into a day. Set a “if we do X and Y today then we will be satisfied “ goal to keep perspective. It is easy to get overwhelmed by all the things you could do, so try and be satisfied with what you did do.
So true. Have several options and alternatives ready in case one falls through.
Honestly, expect shit to go wrong. Sounds like you’ve gotten all the important shit done. You’ve got a plan, you’ve been working towards it for a while and seems like your partner is into it as well.
We had a similar trip a few years back, first time overseas for some of us. Lots of planning and preparation went into it. Then our trip planner fucked up one of our bookings in Paris. Meaning we almost missed out on doing some tour that ended on the Eiffel Tower. A couple of times trains were missed/delayed.
The only times the trip strayed away from being the fantastic trip it was is because people let small (and sometime not so small, to be fair) disappointments or missed expectations turn into high stress/anxiety events. You’re going overseas, shit may go wrong; be ready for it and be cool with it (while also making sure you have travel insurance). Also take time away to do shit yourselves that the other may not want to do and always have set meeting times and locations to check in if you do.
Figure out how many drinks you can have without getting drunk, and then drink only half that many. Altitude effects how hard alcohol hits you. Also, don’t mix alcohol and sleeping or anxiety medications.
None of us drink, but thank you very much for your tip.
This probably isn’t helpful, but I like guided tours where a tour guide tells you about the castles and churches while everyone dutifully takes pictures to prove they were there. The guide/agency arranges the busses/boats and hotels so all you have to do is follow along with the program. The downside is that it always costs too much. The upside is that you spend less time waiting in lines because the planners will have all that worked out with the various sites. Some of those trips are almost exclusively senior citizens, but some have wider age ranges. Either way, you get to meet a set of fellow travelers who may become permanent online friends.
Have fun, and when you get tired, chill out and relax.
Don’t make yourself “have fun” if you feel more like relaxing
I think my wife and I have this down pretty well, so here’s our guidelines:
- Figure out some structure. We usually plan one “thing” per day. Whether that’s catching a train between cities, a particular museum, or a guided tour. This helps with pacing when you are there because you don’t have to think too much day to day, but you won’t feel like you wasted a whole day.
- Figure out food options. I usually make a Google Maps saved list of dozens of different kinds of restaurants in every city. The goal here isn’t a plan, but simply to have good options no matter where in the city you end up. You will have less than one dinner per day of travel after you consider traveling days, so don’t waste it on some tourist trap that you happen to be nearby when the time comes. I’ll usually make a dinner reservation for every other night to make sure we get some incredible meals.
- Naps. It’s vacation, just plan on taking a nap everyday. Our first trip was together was to southern Spain and we’ve just decided that siestas are for us. This also helps with jet lag, staying up late to do local stuff, and having something that you won’t feel bad about canceling if something comes up.
- Self-Guided tours on the first day. If you are Americans traveling to Europe, I’d recommend the Rick Steve’s app and then splitting a pair of AirPods together as you walk around. He does the whole look here, walk here, turn left tour thing, but it’s self paced. We try to do this the first day we’re in a city so we get an idea what the major areas are. Self paced is nice because he’ll say something like “this is a great coffee shop” and we can just pause it and grab coffee if we want. Split the AirPods so you can really hear your surroundings and the tour is something you share.
- Any plans you make are just so you know your options. If you plan on taking a train between cities, look at when the next train is in case you have to miss it. Same with dinner reservations or museums. If it doesn’t feel fun or convenient, you’ll want to know what your alternatives are so it’s never “something or we read in the hotel all day”. Think about “it’s raining, so we’ll go to a museum instead”. Rick Steve also does museum tours.
Aww, this is so sweet that you and your wife have compiled this list for me and my girlfriend.
Three nights minimum in each location. It feels rushed if it’s shorter.
